By: Paul Croteau
Date: January 31st, 2010
Winnipeg Sun


Upon meeting new people, do you often feel you have a psychic ability to read their mood? Even through someone might say that they’re happy or may act interested, you have this strange feeling that the opposite is true?

Most of us can easily tell if someone is anxious, happy, sad or angry. That’s because 50-75% of communication actually comes from our body language. In fact, if our body language doesn’t match the words we speak, people can literally feel a sense of “disconnect.” This sensation often leaves people feeling puzzled and confused, even if they don’t know why.

Understanding body language, or “reading” people, is also a great skill for getting ahead in your work world. It’s all about paying attention to nonverbal behavior. Things you can pick up on include how a person stands or sits down, what they do with their hands or arms and whether or not they look you straight in the eye. For instance, even though someone might give you a steely-eyed stare as you’re speaking, it does not necessarily tell the whole story. By “reading” body language, you can tell whether they are simply paying attention to what you’re saying or if they’re angry or disinterested.

Body language that suggests a person is listening intently typically includes such physical cues as leaning forward or opening your hands or arms. Attentive individuals may also nod their head as they listen or offer a pleasant smile. These motions will help you feel comfortable and welcome, encouraging you to continue your conversation.

On the other hand, if a person seems to be using more expansive, sweeping movements, it might suggest that this particular person has a strong need for power. As a result, you may be taken aback by their behavior and feel less comfortable or welcome in his/her presence.

There are other signals that suggest a person may be confused, disinterested, uncomfortable or bored.  You can see tension in someone’s brow; their eye contact may not be steady and, in fact, the person’s eyes might often flit from one thing to another. You might also see their lips pursed together, which often suggests impatience or confusion. People who are bored in conversation might inadvertently tap their fingers on a desk, shuffle their feet, chew on a pen or push away from their chair. These motions show that he/she feels trapped and wants to get away at the first possible chance.

Believe it or not, understanding how people interact with their personal space can also help you get a read on them. For instance, take a moment to quickly study a co-worker’s workspace. Is the area neat and tidy, big or small? Where are the chairs and desk placed? How have they tried to make their workspace personal? These territorial signals will help you to understand what kind of communicator the individual is and why you do/don’t feel welcome in their space.

At the same time, it would be wise to pay attention to your own body language. How do you signal that you are happy or sad? How do you welcome people to come and speak with you? How do you signal that you are friendly and open to new relationships?  People who understand their own use of body language can more effectively apply their nonverbal signals to their advantage.

It’s sometimes said that the value of understanding nonverbal body language is worth more than a thousand words; in fact, it may be even more important than what is actually said. It doesn’t take much to realize that it’s a communication skill that you can’t afford to be without!


Research and Review by 6P Marketing

Paul Croteau, B.Comm., CMA, FCMA is a partner with Waterhouse Executive Search Partners, a Canada-wide executive search firm. He can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 204-934-8821.