Body Language
Reading people is all about understanding the nuances of nonverbal behaviour, the cues and signals our body unconsciously exhibits as we speak. Reading people is an invaluable skill in today’s business world, particularly because nonverbal clues help us to more accurately understand a person’s meaning. While inferences may not be easily made from specific individual actions, combinations of nonverbal behaviours certainly serve to provide indicators of consistency between thought and action.
Reading people and understanding body language is very intuitive. Actually, I often refer to it as a sixth sense. Recall for instance, a time when you stepped into a room, walked over to a group of people but at the same time, didn’t feel welcome. No one said anything yet you knew this was an intrusion. What was the nonverbal behaviour that gave you this signal? Was it crossed arms, steely-eyed stares, silence, or turned heads? On the other hand, recall a situation where you’ve completely misjudged someone and recognize with 20/20 hindsight that you didn’t pay attention to the signals that were right there in front of you.
Abraham Mehrabian, one of the first researchers to study the potency of nonverbal behaviour, suggests that facial expression alone accounts for 55% of all of our communication. In his view, nonverbal behaviour has three dimensions, immediacy, power and responsiveness. Immediacy refers to the principle that people are attracted to the things they like and repulsed by the things they don’t like. This gives rise to body gestures such as leaning forward, opening hands or arms that symbolically suggest an invitation to closeness. On the other hand, sweeping and expansive body movements that serve to establish dominance or power over others demonstrate power behaviour. Finally, his concept of responsiveness correlates the strength of the body movement to the strength of the person’s positive or negative feelings.
While interpreting body language and nonverbal behaviour depends on the situation and your culture, it is, according to Dr. Jo-Ellan Dimitrius, a skill that can, with willpower and persistence be learned and sharpened. She suggests that learners start by examining striking traits, patterns of behaviour, deviations and extremes of an individual’s behaviour as well as the appropriateness of the behaviour to the situation.
There are many differing opinions on the meaning of nonverbal behavior but much has been done to develop a set of standard decoding keys. Improving the ability to read body language and other nonverbal behavior will require you to understand and recognize these standard codes. These include recognizing open/closed behaviours that signal acceptance or rejection of the message or forward/back behaviours that signal active or passive reaction to your communication. The following checklist will give you a good start.
Responsive Signals
An individual engaged in your communication will be sitting still but leading forward with open an body, a slightly tilted head, arms and hands that signal an openness to your ideas and perhaps engaging in slow head nodding. They will demonstrate direct eye contact, an upward turn of the mouth and a comfortable smile. A person who is ready to agree with you may well close their papers, put their pen down and place their hands flat on the table.
Reflective Signals
A titled head and lots of eye contact accompanied by head nodding suggests the individual is listening and paying close attention to what is being said. Stroking the chin, chewing on eyeglass arms, looking up and around and placing an ankle across the knee might suggest the individual is evaluating your proposal. Tension in the brow, lack of eye contact and a lack of head nodding accompanied by pursed lips might suggest confusion, discomfort or disinterest.
Fugitive Signals
Fugitive signals include signs of boredom, a desire to break away from the conversation or behaviours that suggest complete rejection. Look for signs such as staring into space, foot tapping, doodling, chewing on a pen, biting a fingernail, or slumping over into a withdrawn posture. Signals such as looking at the door, turning the body toward the door, buttoning a jacket, or fidgeting may suggest that the individual wants to leave. Rejection is easy to spot as the individual typically sits back or moves a distance from you, folds their arms across the chest, clenches their fists, frowns and keeps their head down.
Combative Signals
Impatience is a key signal in this case with the individual continually shifting in their seat accompanied by finger tapping, foot tapping, rapid head nodding, staring, leaning forward, finger pointing or clenching fists. As well, an individual might rise to standing position, demonstrate rigid body posture, cross their arms or put their hands on their hips, stare past you, avoid direct eye contact and show a frown on their face. The final signal will be a deliberate physical move away thus distancing themself from you.
Territory Signals
Individuals are also very territorial with their personal space. We each have a zone or an invisible personal box that surrounds us and which we will protect fiercely from others. Watch for how an individual uses their personal space for conversation. Is it an intimate or social conversation distance? This gives you a clue to their level of comfort. Territoriality also extends to office space. Look for the control of communication flow through the placement of desks, chairs, and visitor space.
It’s sometimes said the value of understanding nonverbal body language is worth more than a thousand words and in fact may be more important that what is actually said. It doesn’t take much to realize that it’s a communication skill that you can’t afford to be without!
Sources: Reading Body Language for Sales Professionals, Dennis Kyle; Decoding Body Language, John Mole, nd
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Barbara J. Bowes, FCHRP, CMC Barbara Bowes is President of Legacy Bowes Group. She can be reached at barb@bowesgroup.com. Legacy Bowes Group 301-161 Portage Avenue E. Winnipeg, Manitoba R3B 2L6 p: 204.957.5525 f: 204.957.5834 e: info@legacybowes.com |
